Sheena's on CRACK!
by NexusTehULF0o
Summary: Sheena's on crack and everyone plays along with her. SheenaxRocky. LOL
1. Chapter 1

**Title: SHEENA'S ON CRACK! **

**Author: NexustehULF0o**

**Description: Sheena's on crack and everyone plays along with her. SheenaxRocky. LOL**

**Rating: T for language and I guess you could call it suggestive themes…**

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**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SHEENA FUJIBAYASHI OR ANY OTHER CHARACTERS FROM TALES OF SYMPHONIA. I DO, HOWEVER, OWN THE ROCK. **

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**Nexus: To all the kids out there, hiiiiiiiiii! [waves] I'm pretty sure you all know, but Regal is a very amazing man! **

**Kaosu Fujibayashi: [laughs] …Yeah, right. **

**Nexus: That was mean! See, you hurt poor Regal's feelings! [points to Regal crying in the corner] That's it! **_**Subsidiaries Middle Kick! Regal Kick! **_**[Kicks Kaosu]**

**Kaosu: Ow! Regal Healer! [Heals 4549 points]**

**Nexus: Regal Dive! [Down kicks Kaosu]**

**Regal: Will you guys [sniff] stop [sniffle] freaking making fun of me!?!?!?**

**Nexus and Kaosu: …Showwy. **

**Nexus: [smiles] Well, thanks Kaosu for all the help!**

**Kaosu: Aww, you're welcome!

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Once upon a time…long, long ago…okay, I was lying, not so long ago, you know, like two weeks ago, but you get it…whatever…

A lithe, shadowy figure tiptoed into the small village home, where a young woman lay sleeping soundly on the floor. He snickered to himself before pulling a small bottle out of his lab coat, replacing another white bottle with it. Swirling around and tiptoeing out again, he made sure to step around an average-sized stone sticking up out of the ground right outside the door, only to trip clumsily on the next one before dashing away.

Little did our intruder know that the rock he neglected to trip on was the very beginning of our story…

To put it bluntly, it was a very, very sunny day!

Sheena, who had just woken up and taken her medication, walked out of the Chief's Hut and proceeded in a wide, sleepy stretch.

_Wonder what's going to happen today…? _She thought to herself, looking about to the many villagers who had begun their day much earlier than this. About to take a step, Sheena's foot accidentally got caught on a small object, sending her sprawling onto the floor.

"Owww…" she mumbled, turning over and rubbing her head. She looked to where she had tripped; finding an average-sized grayish stone sticking up from the ground. She picked it out of the dirt, staring curiously and studying it carefully as if it were an alien substance.

"Hello there," Sheena began, tapping it with her finger. "What's your name?"

There was no answer.

"I said," she repeated, "What's your name?"

Silence.

"My name's Sheena! Sheena Fu-ji-bay-ash-i!" She drew out the major vowels in her surname, looking for the rock to hear and understand her.

The rock remained quiet.

She grinned nonetheless. Standing up, she brushed off her pants and glanced at the rock one more time before stuffing it into her pocket.

She looked up at the sky, placing her hand to her chin.

"I think I forgot something, but I don't remember what…"

She decided to disregard it and tried to find Orochi.

"Orochi! Where are you?" She called, cupping her hands over her mouth. As she walked through the small village, she noticed she'd been getting…strange looks from its inhabitants, but didn't really think anything of it.

"Orochi!" She called once more, and Orochi turned, screaming at the top of his lungs while covering his eyes.

"Sheena! Go put a shirt on!" he exclaimed in surprise and shock. "You aren't wearing a shirt!"

Sheena looked down, verifying that this was indeed true. She hadn't put on a shirt today. …Or anything else to cover her…top half.

"Oh! Oh damn, I forgot to wear a shirt today!" She cried, making no attempt to cover herself. "Don't worry, Orochi, I'll be right back! Now where did I put my shirt…?"

Turning to the secret entrance into the Chief's Hut, Sheena suddenly remembered that she most likely left her shirt inside there.

"Okay! I'll go get a shirt on; hold on!"

Placing her back to the wall, the wall spun, putting her inside the Chief's Hut, fully clothed.

"Hey! There's my shirt!" She said happily. Looking up, she realized that Lloyd was standing directly in front of her, without any clothes on himself. She gasped.

"OH MY MARTEL!" she screamed. "IT'S GIGANTIC!"

Lloyd, blushing horribly, looked down and then up at Sheena again, realizing that he was, in fact, naked.

"What?" he asked.

"That…that TABLE; It's HUGE!" Sheena pointed dramatically to a random table in the corner of the room.

Lloyd frowned.

"Oh." He said.

"I love the clothes you're wearing, by the way." She told him, totally serious. Lloyd cocked an eyebrow, but thanked her nonetheless. The ninja gracefully skipped out of the Chief's Hut without another word.

Lloyd looked around curiously, wondering how he got here.

"I was just talking to Colette, and…my clothes were _on._" He muttered to himself. "Now I'm here…and I'm naked." His eyes widened. "I'm naked."

"Hey! Orochi! I found my shirrrrt!" Sheena called, pointing to her purple gi. "It was inside with Lloyd!"

Orochi, who probably is going to be the only one who isn't made fun of in this entire fan fiction, raised his eyebrows and mouthed "Lloyd…" as if trying to remember who he was. His eyes widened to half the size of his face, saying, "What was Lloyd doing in the Chief's Hut?"

"I dunno…" The female ninja drew out the "O" in "dunno," placing her finger to her chin and looking up at the sky. "He was wearing really pretty clothes, though. But Orochi!" She patted him on the shoulder, reaching her hand into her pocket. "Look at who I found! He can't talk, so I named him…uhh…" Holding out the small rock for Orochi to see, she realized she hadn't named her new friend. Thinking for a moment, she hung onto her "uhh" until she had thought of something.

"I named him Jade! Colonel Jade Curtiss of the Malkuth Imperial – no…I don't like that…" she thought, withdrawing the name. "Uh…his name is…Will Smith! He raps and acts-wait, nah…" Tapping her nose with her pointer finger, Sheena took a third attempt at naming the small stone she had picked up that morning.

"THAT'S IT!" She cried, a small yellow light bulb appearing over her head in a small talk bubble. "I'll name him 'Rocky!'"

The "Rocky" theme song began to play as Orochi slapped his forehead with the palm of his gloved hand. Sheena smiled warmly at the rock sitting in her palm. "Isn't he cute?" she asked. "He's soooo small…and rockish…" She poked it lovingly.

Orochi, who had been dealing with Sheena's antics since day one, was afraid to say that Sheena had snapped. Those friends of hers were finally getting to her. Nodding reproachfully, Orochi backed away from her slowly, telling the nineteen-year-old that he had to go somewhere important. Sheena blindly agreed and skipped off.

"Rocky" couldn't be mute. He could talk. Sheena knew it.

_Wait! _Sheena stopped skipping, glancing down at the rock. _Maybe it's like Volt! All he said was "…" and stuff, but Raine could tell what he was really saying. That's it! _She grinned. _I'll go talk to Raine! _

Raine magically appeared in Mizuho, having no idea how she got there. Holding her archeology book, her eyes looked up from the page to see that she was sitting in the middle of the ninja village.

"What the –?" The healer cried, standing up from where she was. She saw Lloyd hesitantly get out of the Chief's Hut, a small towel wrapped around his waist. He looked back and forth, then running off into Garrochia Forest.

That gave Raine the wrong idea entirely.

"RAINE!" A familiar voice called at the top of their lungs, and suddenly, she was hit with 106 pounds…of ninja.

"Raine!" Sheena exclaimed again, holding out the rock. "Look at my new friend!" Raine struggled to get out from under her, reaching a sitting position.

"What!? Is it a new speci – oh, it's just a rock." The schoolteacher said, snapping he book shut as if excited for a moment. "What about it?"

"He's my friend!" Sheena grinned, but then her smile faded, looking down at the silent stone. "But I don't understand what he's saying…but you can!" She shouted gleefully. "He talks like Volt does!"

"Sheena…?" Raine said her name as if questioning her sanity. The ninja stared back absentmindedly. "Sheena, rocks don't…"

"Of course you can do it, can't you, Raine?"

Raine, up until this point, didn't think Sheena was serious. Of course, it wasn't like her to act like this, but that didn't stop her from having a weird sense of humor. Sheena nudged Rocky towards the healer, making her sigh heavily and stand up.

"Sheena, what was Lloyd doing in your room?" Raine asked. "There isn't anything going on that I should know about, right?" Raine liked to pry, thinking that nobody knew it.

"No. I went to go get my shirt on, and he was in there. He had very pretty clothes on, too." The ninja explained. Raine sighed again.

"But talk to Rocky!" Sheena exclaimed, pushing Rocky towards her again.

"You named it Rocky?" Raine asked, leaning away from it.

"Yeah!" The female ninja seemed totally serious. "Could you talk to him for me? I promise that I'll…I'll…" she stopped for a moment, thinking of the proper bribe. "I guess I could show you some ruins later…"

"RUINS!?!" Raine exclaimed, making the whole village stop and stare at her. "WHYDIDN'TYOUSAYANYHTINGBEFOREILOVERUINS!! I'LLTALKTOTHEROCKJUSTSHOWMETHERUINSDAMMIT!!" The healer cried, hopping up and down in an excited squeal.

"Hey! His name is Rocky!" Sheena defended.

"YEAHSUREWHATEVERJUSTLEMMETALKTOHIM!"

The ninja smiled. "Okay!"

She handed Rocky to the schoolteacher, who stared at it with widened eyes. There was silence between them for a couple of moments, but then Raine handed the rock back to her and said "Rocky says 'Hi! My name is Rocky! I'm your best friend, Sheena!' NOWTAKEMETOTHERUINS!" She pointed forward, and Sheena smiled.

"Okay!" She said.

All too suddenly, Raine had a heart attack from being too excited about the ruins and fell on the ground dead from cardiac arrest.

"Raine?" Sheena poked her.

There was no answer.

"Maybe she needed a nap." Sheena said, smiling and looking at Rocky.

Rocky was quiet.

"Nighty-night, Raine!" The ninja patted Raine on the head and then left, leaving her body there.

"What should we do next, Rocky?" Sheena asked the rock in her gloved palm.

"…" Rocky said.

The ninja gasped. "That's such a good idea, Rocky! Let's go!"

She ran off towards the entrance to the village.

"Whoa!" Zelos was in the ninja village as well, looking around after he noticed he'd been moved. "What the hell am I doing here?" He looked on either side of him. "And where are my hunnies?"

All of a sudden, women from all over the area were lifted off the floor and shot across the village, attaching to Zelos when they got to him.

"Now that's more like it." He nodded, holding his arms out on either side of him as women continued to cling to him.

"Hiiiiii, Zelos!" Sheena hopped in front of him, smiling happily.

"Oh my God, I don't think you've ever looked this happy to see me…" Zelos stepped back a pace. "This is weird."

"What's weird? I just said hi!" She waved at him, her other hand being occupied by Rocky.

"Sheena…? Are you feeling all right?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm fine!"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!"

There was silence for a moment as all the women clinging to Zelos fell off, hitting the ground and walking away as if nothing had happened. He stepped forward again.

"Look at my ROCK!" She exclaimed, pushing Rocky into his face. "Isn't he cute? His name is Rocky!"

"You're not okay." Zelos pointed at her, a bit frightened.

"No, Zelos, I told you, I'm fine!"

Zelos, finger erect, poked one of Sheena's breasts. She giggled.

"Hey, that tickles!" She exclaimed.

"Sheena, your boobs are huge." He told her, making the young ninja look down.

She smiled at him. "Yeah, they are!" She agreed, nodding. Zelos' eyes widened, looking up to the sky as a ray of light shone down upon him, angels singing a hymn of joy. He hit his knees.

_I could enjoy this, _he thought; _I could enjoy this very much. _

"Look at my rock!" Sheena repeated. "His name is Rocky! He's my friend!"

"Thank…Goddess…" was all Zelos could possibly manage at the moment.

"Zelos…!" She poked his forehead. Zelos looked at her with a wide smile on his face.

"Who are you, and what have you done with the real Sheena?" He asked. "Because I'm thinking I like you better."

"You're silly, Zelos!" She laughed again, smiling warmly at the swordsman. "But I got to go! I'll see you later!" She waved and then skipped off, leaving him to his thoughts.

"Mkay…" he waved. "Bye…"

"Lalalalala~~!" Sheena sang happily, skipping before bumping into a small girl with black pigtails and one a bit older than the first with long, light brown hair. Sheena randomly fell on her ass and smiled, looking up at the two people looking down at her.

"Well, hi there!" She cried, waving to them. The shorter one looked up to the taller one and grimaced.

"Hello?" The older of the two said.

"I'm Sheena Fujibayashi! And this is my friend, Rocky!"

"Well, I'm Tear, and this…" she gestured to the shorter girl beside her, "Is Anise."

"Wingapo!" Sheena waved her hand and then stood up.

Tear and Anise looked between each other and shrugged.

"Wingapo, Pocahontas!" Sheena turned to a Native American woman who scowled.

"Shut up, bimbo."

Tear's eyes widened. "WHAT THE HELL?"

Colette appeared. "Yay! I'm a bimbo!" Then walked away.

_Freakyanimegal is hilarious. _

Sheena looked at Pocahontas and grinned. "Can you really paint with all the colors of the wind?"

"Of course I can!" Pocahontas rolled her eyes and then drew something in the air with her finger. "Look, it's a kitty."

Sheena pointed and jumped up and down a little. "Oh! I see it! I see it!"

Tear and Anise cocked their heads to the side. They didn't see anything.

"Look! There's the tail…and the ears…" She pointed to random parts of the air in front of the Native American woman, as if tracing what Pocahontas had drawn. Tear shook her head and Anise rolled her eyes.

"I don't have time for this," The Indian said. She walked away, into the forest. "Where the crap is Grandmother Willow…?"

"Kay, Pocahontas! Ana~~!" Sheena gestured the same way she had to say "Wingapo" and watched her retreat into the forest.

"Neither do I. See ya, Tear; I'm going to see If I can have any fun while were in this…weird place." Anise agreed, walking away boredly.

Not looking where she was going, the young woman bumped into a boy about twelve, wearing light blue shirt and shorts.

"Hey! Watch where you're…going…?" Anise almost yelled, turning to look at him.

"Why am I in Mizuho?" Asked Genis, who then looked at Anise and widened his eyes.

"W-w-wow…you're p-p-p-p-pretty…" He said, pointing. Anise smiled. She could like this kid. "My name's G-G-Genis…"

"Well, I have been known to turn a few heads before –"

"GENIS!"

Cried a pink-haired girl with the voice of a mad black woman. She stormed up to the boy in blue and slapped him across the face.

"Oh no you di'int, boy! Genis, why you hangin' out wit dis bitch right here?"

"Presea…I…"

"Oh, don't chu lie to me, you son! I saw dis all up in here! You like her, don'chu? Mmm, I no you do, boy, you don' lie to me, I see right throo you, hun." The pink-haired girl waggled her finger at Genis, who cringed and shrunk away from her. Anise's jaw dropped in awe.

"An' you, over there, you betta watch yoself, ho! You betta watch yoself or Ima gonna get my boys com'n kick yo ass, mmhmmm!"

Anise's eyes widened, pointing at Presea.

"Oh, izzat you pointing yo finga at me, bitch? Let's go, honey, I'll kick yo white ass!"

Genis ran in front of her and placed his hand on either side of him.

"No! Presea! Please, don't hurt her!"

"Presea?" A voice came from behind the two, and a large, muscular man came up behind them.

Presea turned around surprised, and calmed down immediately.

"I wanna go home," She told him in an unfeeling voice. Regal smiled and led her away.

Anise's jaw hit the floor. Genis grimaced.

"Sorry about that." He said, scuffing his foot across the ground.

"Awww, that was cute, with Presea trying to beat you up and stuff!" Sheena put her arm around Anise, grinning before looking at Rocky. "C'mon, Rocky! Let's go have fun!"

Tear stepped over to Anise and cranked her jaw shut, looking at Genis who had begun rocking back and forth in a fetal position on the ground, sucking his thumb. Anise pointed again, turning to Tear and managing, "D-d-d-d-did you see that?"

"Of course I did!" Tear replied, "I saw you and that boy over there talking with the cute little girl with pink hair!"

Anise gasped.

"Let's go. Please!" Anise grabbed Tear by the collar. "Let's go back! We need to get out of here before she comes back!"

"Who comes back?" Tear asked in a monotone voice.

"That girl…!" Anise replied in a delicate whisper, her eyes shifting as if to indicate behind her. "The pink girl! She's crazy!"

"Okay then…" Tear mumbled, and Anise let go of her. "Let's look for a way out, then."

The two began walking toward the entrance to Mizuho, passing by a dead body on the floor. Tear and Anise cringed, looking at it with horror. Suddenly, Sheena skipped up to them and beamed like she normally did.

"Hey, huge melons and pigtails!" Sheena cried, scrunching her shoulders and her head together.

"Uh…" Tear pointed. "Our names are…"

"Oh yeah, Mystearica Grants and Anise Tatlin, right? Sorry. You mind if I call you huge melons and pigtails?"

"Well-"

"Good!"

"Uhm…" Anise pointed behind her, putting on a disgusted face. "Was that…a dead body back there…?"

"Huh…?" Sheena's smile faded just for a second. Then she smiled. "Oh no, that's just Raine! She's was taking a nap, sleepin' like a little baby!" She made a sleeping gesture, folding her hands next to her head and closing her eyes.

"…Oh." The two characters from Tales of the Abyss said in unison, blinking in a confused manner a few times beforehand.

"I should go check on Raine. She's been asleep for a while now…"

_I hate that song. _

"C'mon, Rocky! Let's go check on Raine!" Sheena darted around the two girls and reached the healer's corpse, bending down near her and smiling.

"Man, Raine, you're sleepy, aren't you?" She put Rocky down beside her. She shook the healer who drooled, but didn't wake up. Sheena shivered, taking a hand off of the schoolteacher and rubbing her arms.

"Man, Raine, you're really cold!" She pulled a wool blanket from her gi and placed it over Raine.

"I'm sure you'd like a song, too, wouldn't you Raine?"

Silence.

"Oh-kay then! Here goes!

Twinkle twinkle little…oh yeah…star!

How I wonder what you are…!

Up above the world so high~!

….

………

Well, you get it, right Raine? I forgot the words."

Raine had postmortem spasm.

Sheena chuckled lightly, placing a hand over her mouth.

"Look Rocky, " she whispered, picking Rocky up before standing, "She's dreaming…!"

Meanwhile…back at the ranch…

I mean…you know, wherever Anise and Tear were…

"Look! Tear, there's the exit!" Anise cried, pointing in front of her. The both of them dashed forward, running through the entrance to the ninja village and smiling.

"We made it!" Anise cried, opening her eyes and looking around.

They were in a small village that looked almost identical to the one they had just left. Turning around, they both saw the village of Mizuho behind them, filled with ninjas going about their daily lives. Looking in front of them, they saw the same thing. Male ninjas training off to the sides of the road, women carrying laundry and food…Anise narrowed her eyes and Tear looked down at her.

"Waiiiiiit a second…" The younger of the two mumbled under her breath.

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_TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER TWO. YOU KNOW, LIKE, THE NEXT ONE._

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**Nexus: So, there you have it! [claps once for the hell of it]**

**Kaosu: Woooo~~! It's finally over! You know, for this chapter. [hugs Rozalin from Disgaea II] **

**Nexus: …The frick? [raises an eyebrow]**

**Rozalin: Wh-what?! I will not be treated in this manner, for I am the daughter of Overlord Zenon! **

**Kaosu: Yeah, yeah, whatever…[hugs tighter]**

**Rozalin: Wh-wha- Adell! Save me! [Restrains against Kaosu's grasp] **

**Nexus: [points] Legretta much?**

**R&R Man: [nods] Oh yeah. Anyways, R&R p-l-z!**

**Nexus: [hugs R&R Man] I loveded you, R&R Man! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: SHEENA'S ON CRACK!**

**Author: NexustehULF0o (with some inspiration and help from Kaosu Fujibayashi)**

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**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SHEENA FUJIBAYASHI NOR ANY CHARACTERS FROM TALES OF SYMPHONIA OR TALES OF THE ABYSS. I DO, HOWEVER, OWN THE ROCK. **

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**Nexus: You can purdy much expect more random crap in this chapter…Sorry bout that. LOL. **

**Kaosu: Your mom's random crap…!**

**Nexus: Kaosu! Say you're sorry; my mom's offended! [points to her mom who sheds an emo tear]**

**Kaosu: JKJK I love you, Nexus' Mommy!**

**Nexus: [0.o] That's even worse!**

**Kaosu: ...You know what I mean. [0.o]**

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Anise and Tear looked at the village before them in horror. This was the exact same place they just left. The same _exact_ Mizuho.

"What are we gonna do, Tear?" Anise exclaimed, turning to the older of the two girls and grimacing. "How are we gonna get out of here?"

"I don't know," Tear muttered, looking to the small staff she clutched in her hand. She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking hard.

"I got it!" Tear cried suddenly, holding her fist in the air. "The Grand Fonic Hymn has got us out of other jams before, so I'll try singing it here!"

(A/N- If you've never heard the Grand Fonic Hymn before, then go play Tales of the Abyss)

So she did. And as soon as she finished singing the first time, she stopped when the organ chimed in, as it should have any other time.

"What the hell?" She cried, swirling around to see Jade Curtiss pressing the keys down dramatically.

"What?" Jade asked, lifting his fingers from the keys. "You never wondered where the organ came from when you're singing in the middle of a battle?"

Tear and Anise blinked a couple of times before Jade got up and walked away, taking off his glasses and rubbing them on his shirt.

"You know, I'm just really depressed lately because…there's no Dist here…no Peony either…" He muttered, finding a random emo corner and sulking in it. However, Sheena and her pal Rocky were the bright and sunny influence to almost frighten all of the emo away.

"Hi there, Jade Curtiss of the Malkuth Imperial Forces!" She waved to the Necromancer, who sobbed a "Hello."

"You know, I almost named Rocky after you and Will Smith – hey, why are you sad, Jade?" She pointed to Will Smith who was randomly dancing with a cocked-to-the-side flat-rimmed hat on in the background before crouching down beside Jade.

"I…have no…friends…" Jade blubbered, covering his face in his hands in anguish. "I AM IN DESPAIR!"

"It's a-okay there, little Pink Supervisor!" Sheena smiled for the fonist, placing a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "We have a present for you…!"

"What…?" Jade looked slowly up at Sheena, who held out her hand towards a short Irish dwarf [LOL redundance] and a tall auburn-haired man deemed in purple holding hands.

"Who are they?" The fonist asked after sniffling, a bit interested.

"Silly goose! It's Lloyd's dads; Dirk and Kratos!" She gave him a thumbs-up. "You guys can be butt buddies together!"

"Really?" Jade sniffled again, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"Really really." Sheena nodded before glancing to Rocky a moment.

Rocky didn't say anything.

"You guys are great! Thanks a bunch!" Jade stood up and grinned at the two men before him, skipping off and joining hands with them before walking away.

"Aw, isn't that nice, Rocky? He's so happy…" She sighed heavily. "I wish I could be that happy…"

"Me too," Zelos sighed, suddenly standing beside the pair. Sheena turned, unfazed, and flashed a sunny smile at the newcomer.

"Hi, Zelos!" She waved at the red-haired Chosen, who, in return, cut out the middleman and grabbed her breasts, giggling in a fashion similar to a hyena. Sheena looked down and laughed a bit herself, and suddenly, they popped off of her chest and into Zelos' hands. The swordsman grimaced, looking at what was now in his hands before looking up at Sheena, who smiled sweetly.

"Make sure you bring them back." She told him, waggling a finger.

Zelos' eyes widened to the size of his head. And with that, he ran into a bathroom and placed them on his chest, bouncing them up and down and modeling himself in front of a mirror.

"Man, this sure feels weird!" He told himself while looking in the mirror to the two new bulges in his shirt. "Wow, boobs! I have the biggest boobs EVER!" He cried, striking his fists into the air.

Suddenly, Lloyd stepped out of the shower in the room and looked at Zelos, who glanced over and stared back. Lloyd wrapped a towel around himself and then screamed while pointing at the new edition to Zelos' chest.

Then there was silence.

"Those. Are. Awesome!" Lloyd shouted, stepping over. Zelos smiled, placing his hands over them.

"I know, right?" He replied.

Meanwhile, Anise and Tear were still stuck in Mizuho, running out the exit of one in order to run in the entrance of another. Genis, Presea, Regal, and Orochi watched them blankly while a flat-chested Sheena bounced up and down laughing. But then…the bounced too high and began to float away. Oh, come on, we all know that 102 pounds of her 106 were her boobs. So, naturally, they were the only things holding her to the floor.

Luckily, Orochi caught her by the leg before she drifted too high. He brought her back down to the ground and politely told her not to jump anymore.

"Isn't this funny, Rocky?" She exclaimed, making fists with both hands. "They're here forever! You think it's funny too, right Orochi?" She turned towards the blue-coated ninja, who raised both eyebrows upon hearing his name.

"Huh? Oh, yeah sure." He replied.

So, Sheena continued to laugh and converse with Rocky before quickly losing interest and moving to take her midday dosage of her medication. Slipping Rocky into her pocket, she stood in front of the door to the Chief's Hut with her hands on her hips and a smile on her face. Suddenly, Raine shot up from her position in the middle of the village and looked around, dazed. She turned towards Sheena, cocking her head and brushing her hair out of her face. She squinted a little in the sunlight.

"Did I just…die…?" She asked, pointing to herself momentarily. "Sheena…"

"Naw…!" Sheena replied perkily, waving her hand dismissively at the teacher. "You were just sleepin' like a little baby since the last chapter, that's all!" She grinned for Raine, who looked toward the ground.

"Oh." The half-elf muttered before standing up and walking away. Sheena waved goodbye to her, then taking Rocky from her pocket again.

"What should we do now, Rocky?" She asked the rock, nuzzling her cheek up against him.

Silence.

"That's a great idea! Let's go!"

So they skipped into the village.

Before reaching where they were going, they encountered Zelos again, boobs and all, sitting in from of a mid-size television screen. A Nintendo Wii lay beside him on the dirt floor, and the television soon displayed the menu. Zelos, however, was too excited to even notice Sheena's presence.

"Oh my…Martel." The Chosen said, his hands shaking. This caused Sheena and Rocky to stop and see what he was doing.

" I have waited…so long! Super Smash Bros. Brawl; XXX!" He exclaimed after clicking the start button. Zelos, sitting far too close to the screen, grinned widely as the title screen showed up and he began cackling with sheer joy.

"Whatcha doin', Zelos?" Asked Sheena, leaning over the Chosen's shoulder.

"Only playing the most amazing game in the world! XXX, right?" He pointed to the glass that read "XXX"

"Oh." She replied, standing straight after leaning over to see what he was doing.

"I can't wait~~!" He cried, bouncing up and down a bit. Moving the cursor over Zelda, he started a match against Link. Sheena and Rocky watched blankly as Zelos punched in Down B, causing Zelda to change into Sheik.

The only difference was, there was no shiny light or sound effect to distract one from what really was going on.

Zelda was taking off her clothes.

Zelos paused, sighing like a lovesick girl.

Sheena cocked her head to the side, wondering if the picture would look different if she stared at it different ways.

"I can only imagine what happens when I turn into Zero Suit!" He exclaimed giddily.

"Zero Suit? Why does that name sound so familiar?" Sheena looked to the sky, tapping her nose.

(BTW, Jennifer Hale voice acts Samus Aran.)

A young woman walked past in order to notice Zelos watching Zelda change on-screen.

"Master Zelos!" She exclaimed in dismay, pointing at the game.

"Huh? Oh!" Zelos cried, his eyes widening when he recognized the girl. Sheena and Rocky watched as he attempted to turn off the Wii.

"Hey, here are your boobs back!" Amongst trying to cover himself up, he handed Sheena's breasts back to her, which she popped back on herself.

"Master Zelos, who was that woman?!" The girl cried, continuing to point.

"Uh…what woman?" He shrugged, playing dumb.

The girl in from of him was beginning to sob.

"You said that I was the only one who lay claim to your heart!"

"But you are!"

"Master Zelos!" Another woman ran up, pointing at him. "But you said that I was the only one who lay claim to your heart!"

"Well…" The swordsman trailed off, "I…well…"

"Hey! You said that to me too!"

"And me!"

Soon, girls were swarming around him, fighting one another over who, in fact, lay claim to Zelos' heart.

"I want his heart!"

"No, I want his heart!"

"No, I do!"

"I want his heart." All the girls stopped and looked over at a randomly placed hearth where a talking fire sat.

"But Calcifer, you already have my heart." A blonde-haired, blue-eyed man walked up to the hearth, looking up at the girls and flashing them a dazzling smile.

"Oh my Martel, He's gorgeous!" And with that, the girls abandoned Zelos and stampeded towards the blonde man, leaving a trail of tattered clothes, ripped hair, and splotches of blood in their path.

Raine lay trampled in the aftermath.

"Awww, Raine, were you that sleepy again?" Sheena leaned over, looking at the crushed healer and smiling at her friend Rocky before waving goodbye to Zelos who cried quietly next to the television set.

* * *

_TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER THREE._

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* * *

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**Nexus: YES, I KNOW THIS CHAPTER WAS SHORTER THAN THE LAST ONE. SORRY. I ENJOY WRITING IN ALL CAPS. DON'T YOU? IT'S REALLY FUN! HAHAHA! IT'S LIKE A BOOMING LAUGH WHEN YOU WRITE IT IN ALL CAPS. **

**WELL R&R. YEAH. SEE YA. XDD**


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